, a.k.a. Peanut, was at Lendrick from 1975 to 1981.

Ian spent the first two years in dorm 12. He was a member of the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders' cadets.

P.e.a.n.u.t - Positively Enjoys Annoying & Niggling Unwary Teachers (Jim Haig Xmas '75).

Ian wrote (02/09/2003):
"I got into computers straight out of school, pre DOS, it was CP/M in those days; hang on while I straighten my colostomy and pull the blanket over my knees. In the late 80's Personal Computer World ran a humorous article about the average nerdy computer user. It was meant to be humorous, but I recognised so much of myself in so many of the stereotypes that it nearly made me weep, or it would have done, had I cared.

Late 1990 and I am desperate for a change. I sold up and stuck a pin in a map. After removing the pin from the Indian Ocean and my knee I move left, that's west for those of us in the cadets, to Zanzibar. The road to Zanzibar would have been a difficult journey for a non Arab; it wasn't a very easy movie either. I noticed Zambia, well OK I noticed Northern Rhodesia, but I'd been to school, so that wasn't a problem. The mood took me, and pausing on for vaccinations I cut the ties that bound me and boarded flight QZ003 for Lusaka.

I followed the trail, as I could best recall it, from my penpal Jim had set me up with, and headed for Kasama in the Northern Province, well not exactly... exactly...

  1. Thursday March 29 Buy ticket 5pm for 7pm flight to get best price.
    Woman who sold me ticket wrote wrong directions for quick change at Green Park.
    So I missed my flight.
  2. Got to Regent Palace Hotel to Stay for 2 nights, next flight Saturday. .
    Document folder missing from bag. It had everything in it
  3. Reported Documents, Passport and Travellers cheques missing / Stolen at police station.
    Got back to hotel, opened bag the other way round.
    There, tucked under the side of the bag, was the folder.
    Back to the police station for a piece of humble pie, and my how they love to serve it.
  4. Saturday April 1st, no jokes please, flew out on time, weren't the good old days just that?
  5. Sunday 6am Easter bank holiday, Lusaka. The country has shut for the weekend.
    Within an hour my folder really had been stolen, though this time I had had more sense than to leave the goodies in such an obvious place.
    Went to the pictures, Empire Cinema. Newsreel footage of the Gulf war, Mrs Hussein rumoured to be hiding out in the country at that time, National Anthem, I stood up, from my position in the bottom right hand corner, I could see I was about 1 of 5 of 150 standing, I sat down again.
  6. Night train to Kapiri Mposhi, on a line built by the British, to change for a train on a line built by the Chinese, to a different gauge. When you're Zambian you put up with it.
    Well it all oils the wheels of industry, though not on the same tracks obviously.
  7. 5am in Kapiri Mposhi, Railway on strike, week at the local truckers motel before I gave up in desperation and took the post bus to Kasama.
    900+Km in a minibus with no suspension on roads that compare well with Colonel Gadhafi's complexion.
    Most of Zambia is as flat as a pancake, but the roadside is thick with bushes and small trees.
    I saw 2 items of wild life. An owl which rested in front of the bus, this apparently was a bad omen.
    Well it certainly was for the wasp, I stood on that.

Jim and Veronica were not only long gone from Kasama but also forgotten too.

At a time of war my presence in Kasama aroused a lot of suspicion. At Mungwi, where Jim taught at the secondary school, arresting me gave the local officials something different to do that day. It was in what passed for confinement that I first noticed the spiders. It didn't matter that these huge sods were vegetarian and more scared of me than I was of them, they really frighten you. You see, they can run faster than you can throw a shoe at them, they dodge it, in the nick of time, with an almost cartoon-like dash to the side, even when upside down under the sink or toilet, and even when reduced to as few as 5 legs, not having been so lucky in the past. They are everywhere, I saw only one other large spider, later on that year in Tanzania, it was a tarantula and my host very kindly squashed it for me, and in return, I very kindly stopped screaming.

Over the year I met a lot of people who had known the Haigs and was invited to stay with some of them in passing. I ended up back in Lusaka at the Churches Medical Association of Zambia, country's chief NGO for aid distribution to Mission Hospitals and clinics.

In October of 1991 they held the country's first free elections since independence in 1964, I was on a temporary permit and so had to leave the country at the time. I crossed over to Tanzania, and was ill with malaria within a week. I had in fact caught it at Chikankata in Southern Zambia almost 3000Km away. It was a strain resistant to the common drug chloroquine. Chloroquine resistance was unknown in that part of Tanzania, so they injected me full of it, I got sicker and sicker and soon was going in and out of consciousness. Proper medical care was a long way away, so my friends sneaked me back into Zambia at 6am one morning across Lake Tanganyika. Customs and Immigration don't open until 8am. I was helped to Kasama and to the general hospital where I collapsed. 5+ for those of you who know what that means.

Back in Lusaka with the malaria and President Kaunda both gone, I got back to work. Malaria struck again, and still weak from my last encounter I got very ill very quickly. As I was waiting on the ward for a bed there was an emergency, loud screams of pain, much distress all round, he died, AIDS, although the death certificate will record the infection that killed him and not the HIV. There were no lights, I was knackered, I was helped into bed.

When I awoke the next morning, the previous inhabitant of the bed's blood stained sheets were congealed on my skin. To say I screamed the place down doesn't really do my outburst justice. The patients' relatives steal anything and everything they can get their hands on, and that includes the mechanisms from the toilets. The toilets get flushed when some poor sod, no doubt grateful for the work, comes along with a shovel and empties out the pile, no kidding. Had I been medically able to use a toilet, I would have hated this.

My data processing duties at the CMAZ included realistic data on HIV. Not the Government's figures, the real ones. The previous month the percentage of patients in the hospital with HIV had risen from 79 to 81% The blood in the hospital comes from the patients. It is of course screened but, if before the screening is completed an emergency arises, and the blood is so far showing OK, then it is used. Needless to say I refused the transfusion needed to stabilise me to get me home.

A Doctor Baker from a nearby clinic donated a unit of B+ match 1540 as I recall, and I consented. The Consul saw me to the airport, as much to see I got on the plane as anything else. My brother met me at Heathrow and drove me to the Hospital for Tropical Diseases. Whilst in the University Teaching Hospital, with malaria, I contracted Hepatitis B and Meningitis C. The antibiotics I had been given killed off the Meningitis before it could do much harm, but needless to say I was very ill for a very long time.

I had been advised not to give my real name at the hospital unless I was found to have contracted something that would stay on my record for life, fortunately it didn't come to that, but I was tested monthly for a year before I was able to relax.

Lunch break over, more cheery banter another time, bye,


Ian Scott -front and centre

More names then Sgt Allardyce, Lt Ponting, Capt oops it's just gone

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